Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
