Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
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I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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