im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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