i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
