I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
