my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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