is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
