Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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