I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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