rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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