I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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