I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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