my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
