I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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