It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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