I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
