who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
