Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
