Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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