Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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