You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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