Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
