YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
