Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
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I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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