i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
