Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
