dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
