my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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