Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
