when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize