we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize