What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
