Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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