I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
