Sry I called you an 8
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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