dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
