Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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