I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
