i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
