apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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