I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
