Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
