No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
