I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
