She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
