i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
