so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
