I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
we're so committed to being not committed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize