I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize