It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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