please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize