my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it's like iHOP with fire
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
In other news, I just burned my penis
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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