If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
