Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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